Twelve Days of Christmas - Breakin' it Down Like a Fraction!

There is one Christmas Carol that has always baffled me. What in the world do leaping lords, French hens, swimming swans, and especially the partridge that won't come out of the pear tree have to do with Christmas?

From 1558 until 1829, Roman Catholics in England were not permitted to practice their faith openly. Someone during that era wrote this carol as a catechism song for young Catholics. It has two levels of meaning: the surface meaning plus a hidden meaning known only to members of the Church. Each element in the carol has a code word for a religious reality which the children could remember.

The partridge in the pear tree represents Jesus Christ.
The two turtle doves were the Old and New Testaments
The three French hens stood for faith, hope, and love.
The four calling birds were the four gospels of Matthew, Mark, Luke, and John.
The five golden rings recall the Torah or Law, the first five books of the Old Testament.
The six geese a-laying stood for the six days of creation.
Seven swans a-swimming represented the sevenfold gifts of the Holy Spirit-----Prophesy, Serving, Teaching, Exhortation, Contribution, Leadership, and Mercy.
The eight maids a-milking were the eight beatitudes.
Nine ladies dancing were the nine fruits of the Holy Spirit-----Charity, Joy, Peace, Patience [Forbearance], Goodness [Kindness], Mildness, Fidelity, Modesty, Constancy [Chastity].
The ten lords a-leaping were the Ten Commandments.
The eleven pipers piping stood for the eleven faithful Apostles.
The twelve drummers drumming symbolized the twelve points of belief in The Apostles' Creed.
So there is your history for today. This knowledge was shared with me and I found it interesting and enlightening and now I know how a strange song became a Christmas Carol...so pass if you wish.

So close... Yet so much left to cleanup

I woke this morning with a plan to get out of the house a few minutes earlier than usual.  That ended before it even started.  Ben (3 years old in May) had been awake about an hour and dropped a deuce in his Pull-Up.  No biggie... Except that he tried to change it himself.

Ben tried to clean it up (and to his credit didn't do a bad job for someone his age.)  He didn't get it anywhere outside of the bathroom and even in there it was pretty contained.  The diaper was in the trash and all the tissue was in the toilet.  There were some remnants on the floor, and the toilet seat, and a few  spots on the wall.  I threw the bathroom rug in the shower and Ben in the washing machine and wiped up the rest with Lysol surface cleaner.  

The best part was the first thing he said to me this morning.  "Daddy, I pooped!  But it's ok I cleaned it up." 

For all of you who are freaking out right now and getting ready to call child services:  My child is healthy, well cared for, and smarter than you so don't worry about 'saving him' from your unfounded concern.

Deluge Hydroplane

Steps to hydroplane a black Acura TL in front of me in traffic this morning:

Step 1: Be stupid.
Step 2: See big puddle.
Step 3: Slam on brakes just before hitting said puddle.

This has been a public service announcement for the moron who nearly pooped on my day. Instead I just pooped my pants.

Next time maybe you can do what grown up drivers do and brake smoothly while gripping the wheel a little more attentively.

Congrats on making it this far dude. I'd be surprised if you weren't also a communist.


- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

No time to be sick

Dear #sorethroat,
You are not welcome here! I have a full day of work tomorrow, I have to pack, wrap up some things around the house, and the drive 4+ hours. You should find yourself a lazy bum who eats Cheetos all day and watches daytime tv because if you try to setup shop here I'm going to blast you with whiskey, OJ, honey, and lots of Allman Brothers.
There. You've been warned. Now move it along before I go all John McClain on your ass.
Healthily,
MLONF

If I Had Only Known

Thursday night, February 3rd, we said goodbye to our friend Samson.  Some of you know him as the "little" brown dog.  He went out for another unsanctioned roam around the neighborhood and was hit by a car.  He served a great purpose in our lives and we are so blessed to have had him for the little time that we did.

Even after he was gone Samson was still contributing.  It was a pretty normal event for him to get fast food bags out of the trash.  He had a knack for not only eating the leftover fries (and sometimes ketchup packets), but for dessert he would shred the bag into several tiny pieces. I never understood it, but apparently it gave him pure joy because he did it ALL the time.  Several times before that I had been upset at him for it.  At that moment I just wished he was still there.

So I started cleaning up his last food bag shred-fest, and every time I would think I was done... another piece. Eventually I was laughing through the tears, because I realized even then he was helping me grow.  I've never been good at "stopping and smelling the roses". This made me promise to myself that I'm going to be much better about enjoying the blessings that are right in front of me.

This is not a "My dog died - Pity party" post.  Yes I miss him, but this is not just a status update.  I'm asking all of you to hold me accountable.  Help me remember what it's like to wish I had gone for one more walk, or thrown the ball one more time, or let him lick my face just a little more.  Because one day I want to be able to look back on my life and say I cherished everything as much as anyone could.

Samson,
Thank you for being part of our family.  You gave us so much comfort, joy, and laughter.  We are and will be better off because you were here.  We love you and miss you, and we will remember you always as a great friend, and a loyal protector.
Love,
The Long's

Bread and Milk

http://bit.ly/fCEmcF

Saw this tweeted by James Spann. Now I know why people by this stuff when it snows here. For dancing!!! Hilarious.

p.s. Roll Tide


- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Two Men and a DraughtKeg

I picked up a New Castle DraughtKeg from Publix yesterday in preparation for a technical design meeting. I expected to share it with 3 other friends, but through a series of unfortunate events it turned out to be a bipartisan event.

For those of you keeping count, the 5L mini keg contains approximately 12 pints. (at $19.95 that's only $1.60 per pint) That's enough to make a good time of a 4 person event, or a kick-ass 2 person event! So much so, that I forgot to offer my comrade a fine Olivia cigar. (Sorry, Alex.)

I'll skip the boring details, but we floated the mini keg in about 4 hours and accomplished a ton. This will definitely be a repeat purchase. Beer people love draft beer, and this is perfectly manageable, plus it make a great shooting target or home office decoration when you're done.

Bottom Line: Go get a mini keg at your local grocer whenever you plan on sharing a case with a friend. It's well worth the extra $4!!!